November 20, 2012

25 Things Fat People Shouldn't Do: Jump in an Elevator!

"25 Things Fat People Shouldn't Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!"  ~Jes of The Militant Baker.  

         Naturally, being of a curious and strong-willed nature, I decided to Strut My Walk like only I can! 

What do you think will happen if a fat person were to jump in an elevator?  Hmmm, I wonder...  

Well, let's go find out. 
Okay, so I have a funny face.  That's because I have an intense focus span when assuming the jump position. 

Okay, I made another funny face.  Sue me!  I jumped.  I did, but the photo-taker wasn't quite ready and missed the shot!  And a good jump shot it was...I assure you ;)  Plus I had to hold the "open" button since the elevator door kept trying to close and the automatic hold was not working.

I jumped!  I jumped!  "Did you get the jump!?"  I asked excitedly.  
"Nope! Sorry Mom, not quite yet" she answered behind a muffled laugh.

Ugggg....okay so not quite the jump yet, but we got this.  We will get the perfect shot.  We decided to take a break and go to the pool and try another fun thing on the 25 list...Do a Cannonball!  After a superdeeduperdee great time in the pool, we headed to the elevator closes to the pool to give the perfect jump another shot.

Okay, now I am wet and cold but, I look good in my summer hat.  So I assume the position and right before I jump...Nooooooooooooooo!  The elevator door decided to close interrupting my jump.  Turned out this elevator had door issues as well and the automatic button was not working either.  No problem.  I am no quitter.  We are getting this shot!

The door is giving me a hard time.  Got to love it!

Pero Dios mio que pasa con esta puerta!!! Okay, this door is starting to piss me off!!! 

In case you did not know, this is my enough-is-enough face.  That's it!  It's going down!

Okay, here we go. Are you red Fred?  Is you ready Freddy!? 
Assuming the focus jump position......1, 2, 3

I have to admit it took some repetitive work considering the technical difficulties.  But, other than that it was fun.  I got to spend some quality time with the daughter. No major catastrophe just another mission accomplished and I am glad it is over.  Have you ever jumped in an elevator?



  1. You're one crazy woman!!! Hahahaha! Funny! I think I'd be scared to jump in an elevator!

  2. You so crazy! Elevators scare me, so I believe NO ONE should jump in them! LOL

  3. I cant wait to do this one. Looks like a three person job:)


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