Suddenly there it was! I Saw it! A Reflection!

Bit by bit, I've been trying to come to terms of how or should I even introduce a vast collection of my artwork that emerged during a very rough and challenging time in my life.  When I think back to it, rough is stating it lightly.  Those who know me or those who perhaps have read thru my blog, know I refer to this time as....My Darkness.   

A few mornings ago, at precisely 3:50 in the morning (I looked at the alarm clock), I was abruptedly awakened by this undefinable sense to rise wide-eyed prompting me to go and embrace my artwork.  I believe these "undefinable" senses to be divine whispers alerting and guiding us through the journey of life.  I do not know how many times I have re-written this very post that has been a draft for a few weeks now.  Within my mind there was a battle between should I or shouldn't I? or Am I ready?  I guess NO, actually I know that I should!  I know that I should for ME!  I know I am ready and I will trust this whisper and take a leap of faith and embrace the whole of me in its entirety...including my darkness.  There is nothing to be ashamed of as it was my journey here to who I am today.

I have decided to reflect, reconnect and randomly introduce vast pieces of artwork I created during this period of darkness.   I'm hoping each piece in its own uniqueness gives a glimpse of a lost soul wandering through the delirium darkness of hell and  at the end collectively tell a story of the courage, perseverence and fighting heart of a spirit who found its way back home through the clutches of its undying faith in God and the undying love of 3  precious treasures.  Collectively I will call this artwork...My Darkness Collection.  I honestly do not know what my reflecting and re-connecting with these pieces after so many years will bring to my life, what I do know and feel is that it is something I must do to honor my soul embracing my journey of self-love and acceptance.  

I will begin with a sketch.  A sketch that represents a turning point in my life of darkness.  It is a sketch of a woman with book on lap and pencil in hand.  I was already living in Kansas and was over my sister Zara's house when suddenly this petulant hungry urge to sketch devoured me senseless.  So I surrendered to it and remembered sitting on the bedroom floor pondering upon what to sketch as I scoped the room in hopes of finding inspiration as well as grabbing back hold of myself from the grips of this persistent urge.  Silence swallowed her home that day.  I sat there quietly on the floor when suddenly to my surprise I noticed what was right in front of me.  I was sitting right in front of this very large mirror leaning against the wall.  I tell no lie when I say this mirror was so large I could see my entire reflection sitting right in front of me.  I found myself just sitting there staring at these dark deepened sad eyes staring back at me.   It felt awkward at first, but our gaze interlocked for a moment and suddenly there it was!  I saw it!  A reflection!  I saw her!  I saw me! Instictively, the pencil in hand began to move on the book on lap and the hungry urge subsided as the movements of my drawing hand sketched an image of this reflection...an image of ME!  An image of ME...sketching ME!  Thus, through the depths of them dark deepened sad eyes emerged...

A Reflection of Me

I will continue to randomly post my reflections on the pieces of My Darkness Collection.  As always thank you for stopping by!  Keep coming back for more of to...Inspire and be Inpsired!

Tootles!

Suddenly there it was! I Saw it! A Reflection!

Bit by bit, I've been trying to come to terms of how or should I even introduce a vast collection of my artwork that emerged during a very rough and challenging time in my life.  When I think back to it, rough is stating it lightly.  Those who know me or those who perhaps have read thru my blog, know I refer to this time as....My Darkness.   

A few mornings ago, at precisely 3:50 in the morning (I looked at the alarm clock), I was abruptedly awakened by this undefinable sense to rise wide-eyed prompting me to go and embrace my artwork.  I believe these "undefinable" senses to be divine whispers alerting and guiding us through the journey of life.  I do not know how many times I have re-written this very post that has been a draft for a few weeks now.  Within my mind there was a battle between should I or shouldn't I? or Am I ready?  I guess NO, actually I know that I should!  I know that I should for ME!  I know I am ready and I will trust this whisper and take a leap of faith and embrace the whole of me in its entirety...including my darkness.  There is nothing to be ashamed of as it was my journey here to who I am today.

I have decided to reflect, reconnect and randomly introduce vast pieces of artwork I created during this period of darkness.   I'm hoping each piece in its own uniqueness gives a glimpse of a lost soul wandering through the delirium darkness of hell and  at the end collectively tell a story of the courage, perseverence and fighting heart of a spirit who found its way back home through the clutches of its undying faith in God and the undying love of 3  precious treasures.  Collectively I will call this artwork...My Darkness Collection.  I honestly do not know what my reflecting and re-connecting with these pieces after so many years will bring to my life, what I do know and feel is that it is something I must do to honor my soul embracing my journey of self-love and acceptance.  

I will begin with a sketch.  A sketch that represents a turning point in my life of darkness.  It is a sketch of a woman with book on lap and pencil in hand.  I was already living in Kansas and was over my sister Zara's house when suddenly this petulant hungry urge to sketch devoured me senseless.  So I surrendered to it and remembered sitting on the bedroom floor pondering upon what to sketch as I scoped the room in hopes of finding inspiration as well as grabbing back hold of myself from the grips of this persistent urge.  Silence swallowed her home that day.  I sat there quietly on the floor when suddenly to my surprise I noticed what was right in front of me.  I was sitting right in front of this very large mirror leaning against the wall.  I tell no lie when I say this mirror was so large I could see my entire reflection sitting right in front of me.  I found myself just sitting there staring at these dark deepened sad eyes staring back at me.   It felt awkward at first, but our gaze interlocked for a moment and suddenly there it was!  I saw it!  A reflection!  I saw her!  I saw me! Instictively, the pencil in hand began to move on the book on lap and the hungry urge subsided as the movements of my drawing hand sketched an image of this reflection...an image of ME!  An image of ME...sketching ME!  Thus, through the depths of them dark deepened sad eyes emerged...

A Reflection of Me

I will continue to randomly post my reflections on the pieces of My Darkness Collection.  As always thank you for stopping by!  Keep coming back for more of to...Inspire and be Inpsired!

Tootles!

Don't Take a Pear to Your Sky Dive...The Finale

It's said that when you don't know where to start, it's always best to start in the beginning.  Once upon a time in a quaint little town in Kansas, lived this curious pig-tailed little girl named Dorothy and her feisty little dog Toto.   One day she.....just kidding,  just kidding!   Hehehehe!  I just couldn't resist.  Okay, lets get down to it! *cracks knukles, fingers on keyboard....and begins...

It all started when SimplyyMayra (that's me) wanted to make a dream a reality.....a dream she longed for quite some time now.  If you missed the story from the beginning and prefer to catch up, you can click here and read all about.  Or since I am going to give a quick wrap-up of all thats happened thus far, you can stay here and tag along as I finally reveal what everyone really wants to  know...heck even I want to know.  Does SimplyyMayra get what she's longed for?  Does she get "not so nice man anymore" to be "nice man" again?  Does she get her dream to dive from the sky?  Or should you really not take a Pear to your sky dive?  Let us find out shall we?  Here's a quick re=cap...it'll go as fast as you can read....

The long awaited day arrived and needless to say it set in motion a series of happenings that could make one wonder if she should even go through with the sky dive at all.  Like for instance, the first peculiar thing that happend that day was she was not allowed to wear her high heel shoes, now if you know SimplyyMayra she practically lives in her heels.  Next, the sky dive was cancelled all beause of bad weather!  Do you believe that?  She was upset, but it did get rescheduled for the next day.

The next day arrives and she's off on her merry little way, in her favorite little hat, in her favorite colored clothes to find the small little airport in the small little town of Waldron, Missouri. Gets lost, stops car in the middle of the road, stretches legs, enjoys some superdeeduperdee great fun with the sistas...yep, even the sista who lives in New York was on a call on her smart phone.  Yaaay!.....

So she makes it to the airport, meets the very nice man who conjures up the word game by blurbing out the trigger word "Pear" and now very nice man didn't seem so nice anymore.  Still with me???

Okay, lets keep it going.  In her pre-teens she suffered a great disappointment when she realized she didn't marry her pre-teen crush Stacey Keach who played Lt. Logan in the crime series Caribe.  And she never got the hot pink motorcycle she wanted when she was17 either, so she asked us not to laugh because she was being serious!  If you missed that story too you could click here also or continue reading here.  We're almost there!

So this time she wasn't gonna give up that easily and looked nice man no more in the eye and said...

So she was taken to the dungeon to get fitted, strapped and inspected... 2nd opinion and all!

 

Was told had to wiggle to test the enforcement of the straps but made a suggestion of her own for which strapper man responded "Hahaha! You can't drop it like it's hot!" ... 

Then strapper man said "Wait here ma'm. I'll be right back" to which she responded "Oh don't you worry, I ain't goin' anywhere. I'll be right here. You just go get that plane!" 

Yaaaay!!!!! LET'S GO DIVE!!!!!

And this is where the re-cap ends and we start anew...

And now for the grand finale

The moment of truth...

Did "strapper man" go get the plane?
Did he bring back a shocker?

Did SimplyyMayra get what she's longed for?

Did she get "not so nice man anymore" to be "nice man" again?

Did she get her dream to dive from the sky?

Or will she add sky dive along side Lt Logan and the hot pink motorcycle?

Should you really not take a Pear to your sky dive?

Let's go find out people....Our we ready?  I don't hear you?   Okay, Lets go!

So strapper man leaves and she waits...

and waits

 

and waits some more...

Then!!!

Obviously, NOT the plane! 

Snapper man sent in Mr Not so Nice Man Anymore and simplyymayra undergoes a couple more torture test before her fate is decided.  She takes them in stride though.  She's sucha good trooper!

 

ME:   Zup man?  I came to sky dive! Com'on lets go dive!

Him:  Well, I'm not too sure yet, Ima need you to do some wiggling (I swear thats what he said!)

So off she goes to wiggle for Mr Getting on My Last Nerve!

Her spirits remain high as she as the harness is re-inspected after the wiggle-wiggle-wiggle test....

Well, he actually took her outside...NOPE not to fetch the plane but rather for another test...

Leg lifts...to insure I could lift leg up at landing

So she gives it her all not caring who is watching around...

 Answer coming but only after yet another discussion with a 3rd opinion...

So there you have it, after a series of test, discussions and "I could do it" protests, the experts deemed it best not to take the sky dive at the present time so my sky dive was NOT granted.  I almost had it though!  I was told that I was right at the edge of a YES!  or NO!  But due to safety reasons and "not so nice anymore's" gut feeling along with my big bazookas, weight and pear shape, my sky dive will have to be put back on the shelve until I lose at least 15-20 more pounds!   At the end I appreciated "not so nice anymore's" honesty and expertise in the field.  He proved himself to be an honest man following his instincts.  I was grateful and thanked him for not puting my life at risk and keeping my safety in perspective over just pocketing my mula $$$!  So I am thankful for that.  So "not so nice anymore" was now "very nice man again"...but I still couldn't resist so I kinda had some fun with him without him even knowing!

 Hehehehe!

Was I disappointed?  I'll have to be honest and say that my ONLY disappointment in ALL this was that somehow I felt I let my daughters down. I know it may sound silly, nonetheless thats how I felt.  You know as a parent I always try to provide my daughters with an insight to the important things in life, one of them is to always follow your dreams and never give up. They were so excited to see there Mom following a dream, that when I heard "NO" I felt I had failed them somehow.  But, I know as parents we always tend to be hard on ourselves or feel guilty at the littlest things where our children are concern.  At least I speak for myself.  But, I'm no quitter!  In my life, I have survived worse experiences than this and it's all made me who I Am!  I just gotta come up with a healthy conscious plan to lose 15-20 more pounds!   So no better moment to start than the present...

 

I did have a superdeeduperdee great time overall!!!

It was an AWKWARD, UNEXPECTED yet LEARNING experience because....

Thanks to all my readers, familia and friends for your patience and for stopping by to share this wondrous experience with me!  I want to thank my sisters Zara, Meri and Aracely (from New York on smart phone) for sharing this  experience with me making it even moreso unforgettable! And of course for taking such awesome photos capturing the true the tone and essence of my experience!

How about you guyz??? 

Ever had an awkward, unexpected yet learning experience? 

Or maybe you have one just plain awkward or unexpected? 

Have you followed a dream that you couldn't fulfill? 

Tell me about it, I'd really love to hear it!  

Tootles!

Don't Take a Pear to Your Sky Dive...The Finale

It's said that when you don't know where to start, it's always best to start in the beginning.  Once upon a time in a quaint little town in Kansas, lived this curious pig-tailed little girl named Dorothy and her feisty little dog Toto.   One day she.....just kidding,  just kidding!   Hehehehe!  I just couldn't resist.  Okay, lets get down to it! *cracks knukles, fingers on keyboard....and begins...

It all started when SimplyyMayra (that's me) wanted to make a dream a reality.....a dream she longed for quite some time now.  If you missed the story from the beginning and prefer to catch up, you can click here and read all about.  Or since I am going to give a quick wrap-up of all thats happened thus far, you can stay here and tag along as I finally reveal what everyone really wants to  know...heck even I want to know.  Does SimplyyMayra get what she's longed for?  Does she get "not so nice man anymore" to be "nice man" again?  Does she get her dream to dive from the sky?  Or should you really not take a Pear to your sky dive?  Let us find out shall we?  Here's a quick re=cap...it'll go as fast as you can read....

The long awaited day arrived and needless to say it set in motion a series of happenings that could make one wonder if she should even go through with the sky dive at all.  Like for instance, the first peculiar thing that happend that day was she was not allowed to wear her high heel shoes, now if you know SimplyyMayra she practically lives in her heels.  Next, the sky dive was cancelled all beause of bad weather!  Do you believe that?  She was upset, but it did get rescheduled for the next day.

The next day arrives and she's off on her merry little way, in her favorite little hat, in her favorite colored clothes to find the small little airport in the small little town of Waldron, Missouri. Gets lost, stops car in the middle of the road, stretches legs, enjoys some superdeeduperdee great fun with the sistas...yep, even the sista who lives in New York was on a call on her smart phone.  Yaaay!.....

So she makes it to the airport, meets the very nice man who conjures up the word game by blurbing out the trigger word "Pear" and now very nice man didn't seem so nice anymore.  Still with me???

Okay, lets keep it going.  In her pre-teens she suffered a great disappointment when she realized she didn't marry her pre-teen crush Stacey Keach who played Lt. Logan in the crime series Caribe.  And she never got the hot pink motorcycle she wanted when she was17 either, so she asked us not to laugh because she was being serious!  If you missed that story too you could click here also or continue reading here.  We're almost there!

So this time she wasn't gonna give up that easily and looked nice man no more in the eye and said...

So she was taken to the dungeon to get fitted, strapped and inspected... 2nd opinion and all!

 

Was told had to wiggle to test the enforcement of the straps but made a suggestion of her own for which strapper man responded "Hahaha! You can't drop it like it's hot!" ... 

Then strapper man said "Wait here ma'm. I'll be right back" to which she responded "Oh don't you worry, I ain't goin' anywhere. I'll be right here. You just go get that plane!" 

Yaaaay!!!!! LET'S GO DIVE!!!!!

And this is where the re-cap ends and we start anew...

And now for the grand finale

The moment of truth...

Did "strapper man" go get the plane?
Did he bring back a shocker?

Did SimplyyMayra get what she's longed for?

Did she get "not so nice man anymore" to be "nice man" again?

Did she get her dream to dive from the sky?

Or will she add sky dive along side Lt Logan and the hot pink motorcycle?

Should you really not take a Pear to your sky dive?

Let's go find out people....Our we ready?  I don't hear you?   Okay, Lets go!

So strapper man leaves and she waits...

and waits

 

and waits some more...

Then!!!

Obviously, NOT the plane! 

Snapper man sent in Mr Not so Nice Man Anymore and simplyymayra undergoes a couple more torture test before her fate is decided.  She takes them in stride though.  She's sucha good trooper!

 

ME:   Zup man?  I came to sky dive! Com'on lets go dive!

Him:  Well, I'm not too sure yet, Ima need you to do some wiggling (I swear thats what he said!)

So off she goes to wiggle for Mr Getting on My Last Nerve!

Her spirits remain high as she as the harness is re-inspected after the wiggle-wiggle-wiggle test....

Well, he actually took her outside...NOPE not to fetch the plane but rather for another test...

Leg lifts...to insure I could lift leg up at landing

So she gives it her all not caring who is watching around...

 Answer coming but only after yet another discussion with a 3rd opinion...

So there you have it, after a series of test, discussions and "I could do it" protests, the experts deemed it best not to take the sky dive at the present time so my sky dive was NOT granted.  I almost had it though!  I was told that I was right at the edge of a YES!  or NO!  But due to safety reasons and "not so nice anymore's" gut feeling along with my big bazookas, weight and pear shape, my sky dive will have to be put back on the shelve until I lose at least 15-20 more pounds!   At the end I appreciated "not so nice anymore's" honesty and expertise in the field.  He proved himself to be an honest man following his instincts.  I was grateful and thanked him for not puting my life at risk and keeping my safety in perspective over just pocketing my mula $$$!  So I am thankful for that.  So "not so nice anymore" was now "very nice man again"...but I still couldn't resist so I kinda had some fun with him without him even knowing!

 Hehehehe!

Was I disappointed?  I'll have to be honest and say that my ONLY disappointment in ALL this was that somehow I felt I let my daughters down. I know it may sound silly, nonetheless thats how I felt.  You know as a parent I always try to provide my daughters with an insight to the important things in life, one of them is to always follow your dreams and never give up. They were so excited to see there Mom following a dream, that when I heard "NO" I felt I had failed them somehow.  But, I know as parents we always tend to be hard on ourselves or feel guilty at the littlest things where our children are concern.  At least I speak for myself.  But, I'm no quitter!  In my life, I have survived worse experiences than this and it's all made me who I Am!  I just gotta come up with a healthy conscious plan to lose 15-20 more pounds!   So no better moment to start than the present...

 

I did have a superdeeduperdee great time overall!!!

It was an AWKWARD, UNEXPECTED yet LEARNING experience because....

Thanks to all my readers, familia and friends for your patience and for stopping by to share this wondrous experience with me!  I want to thank my sisters Zara, Meri and Aracely (from New York on smart phone) for sharing this  experience with me making it even moreso unforgettable! And of course for taking such awesome photos capturing the true the tone and essence of my experience!

How about you guyz??? 

Ever had an awkward, unexpected yet learning experience? 

Or maybe you have one just plain awkward or unexpected? 

Have you followed a dream that you couldn't fulfill? 

Tell me about it, I'd really love to hear it!  

Tootles!