Mariposa Journal Entries...Yep, I'm Fed Up For Sure.

                                                                      

Dear Journal:

I surely am fed up about all this hype going around about facing your fears and just being yourself as if it were all easy and stuff.  I mean don't you think that if it were easy, everyone would feel comfortable being themselves!?  Heck, everyone would be themselves!  Better yet, don't you think that all this crap and bs (pardon my french) would cease to exist?   Why do people do that.  Why do we do that!  Yea, I'm fed up for sure.

I mean when did it all start?  When did it become such a hassle or struggle to being you?  Why the stigma around it?  Is there a conspiracy going around that we don't know about?  Could there be?  WTF, alright, alright...WTH!  You see what I mean?  Why the hell can't I just speak like I damn well wanna?  Why do I feel that I have to resist myself.  Shut up, who asked ya?  Yep, I'm fed up for sure.  

Awww, and the thing is I really don't like to talk like that, but sometimes I just wanna.  I mean I know who I am....I think.  No!  I do know who I am!  And I like myself!  Heck, I love myself!  But, then why are there days of doubts?  Where does it come from?  Why does it creep up like a pestering buzzing fly trying to eat at your cake and no matter how many times you swap at it, it keeps coming back.  I hate that.  Yep, I'm fed up for sure.

Other than that, my day was okay.  I was productive at work today...yaaay!  Bout time too.  Administration really gotta step up their game with the resources though.  But one step at a time, one step at a time.  Head girlfriend seems to be in la.la.land at times.  Fine, I won't be mean.  I won't judge either.  But damn,  getting paid all that mula, just doesn't seem fair when you end up sweeping all the mess at the end yourself.  For sure Ima be fed up bout that too.  (Sigh)

It's really not all that bad.  I'm just venting.  I guess it's okay to have a day of "fed ups" (giggle-giggle).  Today was mine.  I'll keep you posted on the progress.  And oh yea, thanks for listening my loyal, faithful, journal friend.  Til the next time I pick you up again, 

Adios